my purpose.

sometimes, it's easy to sit here and wonder what life is really all about.. then there are days like today. days when people allow themselves to have a moment of vulnerability. to completely breakdown. without reservation. without that strong face they constantly put on.. and they let themselves talk about the pain they're continually trying to mask. days that remind you of your true purpose in this world: to love people. to listen. to let them know, sometimes without even using words, that they have someone on their side. someone that is safe. that won't judge them. that won't awkwardly scramble to find the perfect words, but will allow them a place of respite.  

it's no small thing that even people I hardly know are constantly sharing their lives with me. it’s easy to see that as no big deal. as small talk. as something that happens to everyone. but I’m realizing more and more every day that it’s not. and although it may leave me with a heavy heart at times, I see it as an honor to have the ability to carry some of their weight when it’s become too much for them to carry alone. even if it’s just in that moment, knowing I was able to provide that for them when they needed it most makes it worth every bit of heartache it may bring me.

Today is my wonderful girlfriends birthday.. and in honor of her, I thought I'd share the story of... well.. US! so far, that is <3.

Sitting here, reflecting on the last 4 years of my life with her.. i realized that it was about this time, 6 years ago, that I met her. Let me set the scene for you.

It was my first year at Green River and my friends put together a little party to celebrate my birthday... but come to find out, it was also a going away party for a couple of other friends as well. So, naturally, there were a ton of people there that I had never met. Including this loud, bubbly, way-too-happy girl wearing these obnoxious, pink furry boots. They called her.... "Pink".

I was pretty buzzed, which means I wasn't exactly my quiet, shy self that I usually was at parties full of people I didn't know.. but regardless of how social I was, I took one look at this girl everyone called "Pink" and thought to myself, "this girl and i will never be friends." After all, I was one of those quiet emo kids who loved piercings, tattoos and wearing black... and to me, she seemed the exact opposite.Well.. about an hour into the party, she comes up to me, makes light conversation, steals my beanie and decides to wear it the rest of the night. And to this day, she STILL denies was any form of flirting. But come onnn. Everyone else sees it ;) Anyway.. this was her that night. A little intoxicated ;)

A few days later, I went to a New Years Eve party at a friends house...and what do you know? "Pink" was there. We ended up talking for what felt like hours, about all the guys that had been assholes to us.. and how many of those guys we had in common. (Awwwkward thinking about it now.) After that conversation (and a little too much alcohol), we decided from that night on- we were Bonded for Life. BFL.

Look at us, we're cute! :) Yay for 2007!

So, that was it. I realized I had become friends with this girl in the furry boots. I didn't even know her real name.. everyone called her Pink. She was living up in Bellingham, finishing school at Western, and I was in my first year at Green River. Over the next 6 months, we saw each other at random parties and went to a Tyrone Wells concert with a bunch of friends. It was strange.. but we actually got along really well.

This was at the Tyrone concert... where she decided to bring 'dinner in her pocket'. She's always been a strange one :)

We got really close, really fast. We actually had a lot more in common that either of us would have ever guessed. And she decided to make me a craft describing some of those things.. :)

(it wasn't framed like this.. i recently put this together as a gift for our 4 year anniversary.)

(Notice #8....)

Cute, huh? :) Weird to look back at our friendship... it's always been a strange connection. Anyway.. here are some pics from some more hangouts we had over the next year or two!

picked her up from the airport when
 she got back from cali.. she had this and
a live plant sticking out of
her backpack. and she calls
ME the hippie. mmmhmmm. haha.

parties!

she surprised me with a fancy
birthday dinner 'friend date'.

teaching me how to take jello shots :)

trips to the cafe!

she planned an entire surprise party
for my 20th bday. winter wonderland
theme, complete with amazing themed
decorations AND drinks!

Then... the fun begins. The summer before we started dating, we road tripped down to California for Opportunity Camp together. We decided to do the trip as cheaply as possible- meaning we camped out on the beach and random camp grounds instead of paying for hotels. It was quite the adventure. 2 days there and 2 days back. As we were getting ready to head back, we found out that San Francisco Pride just happened to be going on as we were there. Needless to say, we went. Everyone thought we were a couple. It was awkward then.. but HILARIOUS to think about now. We were asked a couple of times, "are you gay?" Tiff was REAL quick to answer, "I'm not, but she is!!" Haha. Here are some pics from that adventure... just for your entertainment :)

at Op Camp!

on the drive!

my personal fave. haha.

Tiff was taking a pic of me 'under the
rainbow' and this lady INSISTED
that we take a 'cute couple picture'
together.. hahaha.

After we got back from Cali, we talked more and more. She spent 4th of July with my family and I in Vancouver. In August of that summer (2008), I was heading to Sweden for a month. In the week or so before I left, Tiff and I were texting constantly. At one point, I realized... *holy shiiiits, this girl is flirting with me!! Am I imagining this? Is this really happening?? But.... she's straight! right?!*. I sat there, at my parents house in Yakima, staring at my phone in shock. I couldn't tell anyone.. I wasn't exactly out to my friends (although almost everyone knew..), much less to my family. 

For the sake of keeping this a happy post, I'll skip through this next part of the story... but after some REALLY difficult and emotional times, and expensive phone bills (haha!), we decided to make it official! It was one of the best days of my life. Aaaand then, we did the typical 'lesbian' U-haul thing and moved in together right away. That was the beginning of our next adventure. 

Every day since October 1st, 2008, I have fallen more and more in love with this girl. We have definitely had our fair share of set-backs, mistakes, and nights full of tears.. but I'm proud to say that we have overcome SO much and are stronger today than we ever have been. From living together on day one, to my crazy family and hers, 3 years of having a long distance relationship, car accidents and great travels, learning more about each other and ourselves... this has been the number one, absolute greatest adventure of my life so far. Falling in love is a beautiful thing. I know it sounds cheesy.. but how could anyone think any differently when looking at this beautiful girl who I have the honor of calling mine? <3.

Life has been amazing since that day.. and it's all because of this girl right here. So baby, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. SO incredibly much. You will never truly understand how much you mean to me. My life is SO much better with you in it. You have brought, and continue bring so much joy into my life every single day. If I've had a bad day, feeling depressed, angry, anxious... anything- just seeing your smile instantly makes me feel a little better. There isn't a single person on this planet that can do that the way you do. You will forever be my best friend. The love of my life. My better half. And one day, I can't wait to make you my wife. 

Happy birthday, my love <3.

(Just a few more, for fun! :)

in love <3.

hahaha :)

just being strange.. as always.

our first date... the Stars concert :)

glad we made this adventure happen!